


Could this be magic

by LessthanLuna



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Driving, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Inspired by Music, Music, Not Canon Compliant, Sad Dean Winchester, Winchester Man Pain (Supernatural), literally not a soul, no one asked for this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29003781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LessthanLuna/pseuds/LessthanLuna
Summary: Dean is distraught over Eddie Van Halen's death and Sam is at his wit's end trying to figure out how to help. He decides to tag out and let Cas try.
Kudos: 3





	Could this be magic

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this When Eddie Van Halen died a few months ago as a way to deal with my own feelings on it, because it occured to me Dean would probably care. I decided to post it today on what would have been his 66th birthday despite the fact that I'm acutely aware no one asked for this and it's much more angsty than what I normally write. I do intent at some point to try and write a fluffier 2nd chapter but I'm still working on that.
> 
> \------------  
> Castiel is human in this but not in the disruptive and frankly hurtful way that he was in season 9. He lost his grace some other way and after a period of adjustment, decided to go out and explore humanity apart from hunting. ... Do with that what you will.
> 
> \------------
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own supernatural, Van Halen, any of the characters mentioned or even the car talked about here. This is all just something that was tumbling around in my mind and shared on the internet on the off chance someone else shares my feelings. That is all.

"You just don't get it Sammy!"  
"You know what Dean? You're right. I don't. I mean he was a great guitar player but you moping around like someone you personally knew has-"  
Dean jumped off his bed whipping his robe behind him like a cape  
"Great? Guitar player? That's it! Out!" Dean pointed his moose of a brother to the door of his room.  
Sam knew when he wasn't going to get anywhere. He turned around to make one more attempt to at least get Dean to shower but the door was soundly slammed in his face.  
Sam was at his wit's end. Ever since the news had broken about Eddie Van Halen's unfortunate death, Dean had sulked and been more broody than usual. Sam just didn't get it. Sure the guy had been talented and they had been raised on his music but this was an extreme reaction, especially for Dean. It seemed like it had been days now that Sam had been trying to reason with him and he was running low on ideas. Dean had basically been subsisting on a liquid diet of Hunter's helper and had even turned down pie. Pie!

Sam was getting desperate so he called Cas. Ever since Cas had become human, he'd been harder to pin down. He still showed up when it was important though and a drunk, no-pie Dean definitely fell into that category. 

As Sam had that thought, the ex-angel came through the bunker door. He had a look of concern on his face which told Sam that he was taking this seriously which was good. They greeted each other at the bottom of the stairs with a hug.

"You mentioned Dean was upset on the phone. What seems to be the problem Sam?"  
"He's all bummed out because Eddie Van Halen died."  
"Ah yes, the innovative guitarist. Many people who enjoy music like Dean does are very upset about that."  
"Upset is one thing, he's acting like he lost his best friend" Sam paused to look at Cas a moment "Well….. again."  
"Thank you. I will try to talk with him. I know he doesn't generally care to open up, but perhaps we can at least discuss this problem."  
"Thanks man. I'm gonna head out, grab some air and some supplies. Just…. do what you can." Sam said clapping Cas on the back before making his exit.

\--------------------

Castiel walked down the hallway with a small amount of trepidation. Dean was often hesitant to open up and he didn't want Dean to feel attacked. He wanted to help if he could though, Dean was obviously hurting. Castiel knocked on Dean's door rather than barging in, no need to be rude after all.  
"Go away Sammy! I'm not going over this again." Dean shouted from the other side of the door.  
"Actually it's me Dean."  
Castiel heard the sound of rustling and footsteps before the door opened.  
"Cas?" Dean asked in a mixture of wonder and confusion.  
"Hello Dean."  
"What are you doing here?"  
"Sam called. He said you were experiencing some… distress."  
Dean's face soured at this.  
"Sorry he dragged you all the way out here from wherever you were. I'm fine."  
"You act as though it's an inconvenience for me to be concerned about someone I care about. I assure you Dean, this is not a "wasted trip"."  
"Finally figured out those air quotes huh?"  
"Yes. I have learned many things in my time as a human. Including when someone says they're fine but aren't. Would you care to talk with me about it? Sam said you were resistant to discussing the issue with him."  
"It's not that I don't want to…. Well it sort of is, but…. Sammy doesn't get it, man. Hell I'm not sure you will either but I guess I'll try to explain. I think I need a drink first." Dean said, shaking his empty beer bottle.  
Castiel was fine with moving this discussion to the kitchen, hopeful that while they were talking he could get Dean to eat as well. Cas watched as Dean grabbed a beer and a cheese stick from the fridge (it was something) and sat at the table. Cas joined him before Dean continued their conversation.  
"When we were kids and dad was dragging us all over, music was what we had that was constant. It was something that me and dad shared that was by my own choice not just because it was something I HAD to do to keep us alive. I still remember the first time I heard this "Van Halen" band. I was like five and they came on the radio. I remember being terrified that dad would change it because I hoped it would never end. There were these loud guitar solos that you could just feel in your soul and…. it's one of the few good memories from being a kid ya know? It… I…. " Dean paused.  
"It feels like another piece of me is being stolen. I know that's the way things are and I know it's stupid it…. Where do I find that feeling again?"

Cas was quiet for a moment. He wanted Dean to be able to get everything out without feeling as though he was being pressured. When he was sure that Dean was done he spoke up:  
"It's not stupid Dean."

Dean looked up in surprise from the spot on the bed he had been diligently studying on the bed.  
"It's not?"  
"No. The passing of someone you admired is always difficult as I understand it. Since becoming human, I've learned that what most people are looking for is connection. You feel that your connection to this particular memory and portion of yourself has been severed because another one of the people responsible for creating it is gone. Anyone would be upset by that."  
"I mean… I guess that's a way to look at it."  
"I think I have an idea if you wouldn't mind joining me."

Dean was reluctant but he didn't really have anything to lose. He got dressed and followed Cas out to the Bunker's garage. Cas was looking at the board they kept the keys on apparently making a selection. This made sense since Sammy had Baby. What didn't make sense was why they weren't just taking Cas' car.  
As though he could hear Dean's thoughts, Castiel spoke up.  
"I know you're not terribly fond of my "pimpmobile" so I thought you'd enjoy one of the cars here as an alternative."  
Dean normally didn't drive the cars down here because most of them felt small and pretentious but hell he wasn't driving, what difference did it make? Cas was leading Dean over to the '47 Triumph roadster. It was probably the biggest car down here and Dean appreciated that Cas was trying to give him some breathing room to do….. whatever this was, instead of cramming them into one of those 2 door roller skates.  
"So what are we doing here Cas?" Dean asked after they were seated comfortably.  
"I found this in my car's trunk." Cas held up a cassette tape. "It didn't seem right to listen to your music without you so I left it there for us to enjoy together. I would like to experience the feeling you were talking about."  
Dean recognized the cover art from Van Halen's debut. He didn't know if it would hurt him worse to hear it or not but he supposed he was willing to try.  
"Up to you Cas. You know the house rules."  
"I have no desire for you to shut your cakehole, Dean." A smile tugged at Cas' lips  
Dean stopped him as he started to put the cassette into the player that someone had apparently retrofitted the car with.  
"One more rule: It has to be loud and you have to drive fast."  
"I always drive fast Dean." Cas answered simply. "It feels like flying."  
This statement floored Dean and he now hurt for another reason. They were both quiet for a moment as the opening strains of "running with the Devil" started. Dean knew once the lyrics kicked in Case would likely have questions. He wasn't disappointed.  
"Do all their songs glorify a relationship with my brother?"  
Dean gave a genuine belly laugh. "No. Depending on how you look at it, this one actually doesn't either. He's saying he lives his life on his own terms and most people see that as a sinner lifestyle. In a heavily Christian society that equals "running with the devil"." Dean realized at the end of his explanation that Cas was staring "What?  
"Nothing. I appreciate the way you when you talk about something you really care about Dean."  
Dean chose to ignore this and turn "Eruption" up to full volume. It had always been one of his favorites. Once when they had actually been at a school long enough for Dean to care, he'd had to do a "radio presentation" and played it for his whole class. His teacher hadn't been fond of what she had called "that ungodly noise" but it was still a good day for Dean.  
They drove all over the back end of Kansas listening to Van Halen and enjoying being around each other. While Dean didn't feel 100 he felt… lighter somehow?  
He wanted to return the favor in kind to Cas if he could. Cas didn't need someone like Dean fumbling around with his head, but he also deserved to not have his pain ignored.  
"So Cas" Dean started as Cas pulled the vehicle back into the Bunker's garage. "About not being able to fly…"  
Cas smiled gently. "Yes?"  
"Well, um, I know you probably miss it like a lot and I know I can't make it better but I…. I'm glad you're here."  
"Thank you Dean. That means a lot."

\----------  
Dean returned to his room later that night. He felt slightly better but was still sad. He still didn't know how to completely put into words why. He did know that this was the best day he had had in a while. Dean still didn't think he deserved it but he knew he was definitely lucky that at some point things had aligned enough that they let a fallen angel save a man afraid to fly.


End file.
